Verbal diarrhoea of May.   Waffle from the Winter Organiser.

Now for some more waffle. l was a little upset the other day when the Boss said l was suffering from verbal diarrhoea. Now, l wish he hadn’t used that word; mainly because I have to look it up three times before I remember how to spell it. And it is a strange word. it’s as though the Literacy Fairies had a few spare A’s and R’s and H’s and scattered them about profusely like someone scattering salt on a hot, buttered crumpet. After all, if you take something that gives you it, they call that diuretic, which is a nice, simple word with no A’s and H’s at all. But that is all verbal – waffle.

What l’m really waffling on about today, of course May; the merry, merry month of May. Which is a comparatively unusual month in that it is one of the few months which is brought into use as a girl’s name; like June, possibly ‘ April or (nearly) Augustus for a boy. Nobody ever calls a child February or November. Not so far, anyway. There is, of course, May, the flower; but take away the capital letter, and a most interesting vista awaits you, as you may perhaps realise if you may allow yourselves to think how you may use tummy’s.

Cinderella may (must) not go to the ball, but the Fairy godmother says she may (perhaps will) go if she finds that pumpkin, and calls “May”(1 hope) you enjoy yourself there when she goes. Try and convince our friend Vin Senatore of something he doesn’t agree with: “you may be right” he will say, which crams as much doubt into that word “may” as it will bear.

But let’s revert to the month Itself, which starts with Mayday, with its Maypole. How we came to have Maypole Dairies as a grocers shop before the war, with the Home & Colonial, J. Sainsbury and David Greig l don’t know. 1 do know that , G.K Chesterton wrote “God made the wicked grocer for a mystery and a sign”. .but that J. Sainsbury and David Greig had a gentleman’s agreement they would never compete in the same area, and never did. You may not know that.

However, l digress (surprise, surprise) Mayday swopped its Maypole for a Hammer and Sickle, and became the celebration day for the revolutionary Left. Could that be why “Mayday Mayday” is a distress signal? And before the Boss sends out distress signals because l have not mentioned the Winter programme l may finally say we shall have Mr Dury on Essex workhouses, Mr. Fromow on Catherine of Aragon, Mr. Davies on Rayleigh, Mr. D’Arcy on the Crown Jewels and Mr. & Mrs. Manley on Hong Kong, all of who you may see and hear if you attend our winter meetings ‘ And may you enjoy the summer.

Ron Silk : Winter Programme Organiser.  (who may well not be allowed to waffle again )